Apr 19, 2005 2
My Linguistic Profile:
From: What Kind of American English Do You Speak?
Note: I don’t speak American, but I have a bit of a Canadian accent which is pretty much similar to American. Now my English accent is a mix of Canadian and Australian.
Nov 11, 2004 Comments Off
While I was trying out del.icio.us, I found out that the porn image rendering library used by Mozilla is named libpr0n. Somebody must have a really good sense of humour. If you go to the website you can “register” your copy of libpr0n and get a “serial number” to “unlock” libpr0n so that it can render unlimited amount of pixels.
FYI, “pr0n” is a commonly-used alternative to write “porn” on the Internet. And yes, it’s a joke. The lib is an actual lib, but it’s clear that the name and registration thing are meant as a joke.
Nov 5, 2004 1
Got this from a friend. Source unknown.
Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 P.M. and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
If it’s really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it’s going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me, and advise me at every keystroke.
Always leave without telling anyone where you’re going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don’t open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.
If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is priority. I am psychic.
Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
If you have special instructions for a job, don’t write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
Never introduce me to the people you’re with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
Be nice to me only when the job I’m doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager’s hell.
Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it’s nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so many taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.
Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I’m not here for the money anyway.
Follow @ronny on Twitter where I post much more often than my blog. 
